Its 11.18pm. Monday… I’m exhausted. Feel haggard. I’m stress. I’m lonely. Depress. Yes, I guess that really describe my feeling now.
There are a lot of things running in my head. I’m thinking about many things. Work procedure manual that I must submit end of this week. I’ve learned new things today at work. Seeking for security or freedom? I don’t know… I just don’t know what is in my mind now. I need time… more time for myself. Am I sure? I don’t know…
Sometimes I regret of doing thing. I think that no one understand me. I think that I’ve chosen a wrong path. Blank… dark… clueless.
I’m bragging nonsense again. Yes I know. You can simply close this blog if this post annoys you. If you understand nothing… no, I don’t understand either.
It has been a while I don’t have feeling like this. No, I’m not happy either. I have made some decisions in my life. Some made me happy but others full with regret.
What keep you alive? Motivation? Love? I don’t know. Don’t ask me.
Do you practice what you preach? Some do and some don’t. Human… sometimes they think they are the best, sometimes they think they are perfect, sometimes they forgot from where they belong. Sometimes you think you need guidance. Someone… something… I don’t know. It could be anything… back to the basic.
Sometimes you feel time is running out. You don’t have much time. You have wasted so much time. Have you live your life to the fullest? Have you done everything that you ever dream of? Have you? Achieve all your goals? Can you put a smile on your face when you are leaving everyone… everything in the world – in your world.
I don’t know… maybe I’m too tired or too stress. I don’t speak a lot when I’m in this condition. Not in the mood to talk. Even listen… ok I’m dehydrated. Really? I don’t know. Open my song folder, double clicked on Imagine by John Lennon.
I need a shower… no, it’s not hot. Just… I need a shower.