I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.

Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn’t love her anymore.I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.

The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's
notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of
her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was greying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time
to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I wouldn't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote; I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.

(Source: email)

Di manakah aku?

Aku menaiki sebuah kenderaan. Aku tak pasti sama ada ianya sebuah kereta ataupun van. Kami semua berpakaian putih. Aku keliru. Ke manakah hala tuju? Apakah tujuan? Aku seperti hilang arah. Atau pun lupa. Seperti dalam wayang-wayang Inggeris, ada alat untuk menghilangkan ingatan.

Kemudian kenderaan itu berhenti di suatu tempat. Aku masih terngiang-ngiang. Tidak tahu di manakah tempat itu.

Kami semua diturunkan.

DI MANAKAH AKU?

Bila kami semua berkumpul, aku dapati bersama-sama aku terdapat kawan adik ku. Arina jika aku tak tersalah nama. Bersama kawannya. Aku tidak berapa kenal atau tahu namanya. Kami semua kelihatan seperti tidak tahu apa yang akan berlaku seterusnya dan tidak tahu apa tujuan kami dibawa ke situ.

Kemudian kami mula berjalan. Berjalan ke satu lorong yang agak suram. Di sebelah kiri terdapat sebuah kawasan yang kelihatan seakan padang bola tetapi tiada rumput. Seakan-akan kolam renang pun ada. Yang dipenuhi pasir.

Apabila melepasi lorong suram itu, kami menjumpai sebuah kolam. Sekelilingnya terdapat batu-batu. Seram bila melihat kolam itu. Tak rasa seperti hendak mandi pun.

Kemudian kami semua terkejut. Terdapat makhluk-makhluk pelik tidak jauh dari kolam itu, di hadapan. Ada yang terjerut leher, ada yang mata terkeluar dan ada yang lidah terjelir. Semuanya dalam keaadaan ngeri. Macam alien pun ada. Seorang lelaki berpakaian serba putih, menerangkan itu semua orang yang bunuh diri. Aku terdiam. Kenapa pula orang yang bunuh diri ada di sini? Pelik. Seram sejuk juga melihat keadaan macam tu. Kemudian aku hendak berpatah balik kerana semua ingin kembali ke tempat kami berkumpul. Aku dikejutkan dengan seorang wanita yang berbibir sangat tebal entah apa lah salah dia pula sampai jadi macam tu. Di dalam otak aku, aku rasa macam dah di akhirat! Mana taknya, dengan semua orang dalam keaadaan macam tu!

Kemudian tiba-tiba aku ternampak kawan adik ku itu. Pakai bikini dan lari terjun ke dalam kolam tu. Terjun ke tengah-tengah kolam sambil menjerit “Aku tak suka pink!”. Baru aku sedar batu-batu di sekeliling tu berwarna pink. Entah apa kena mengena batu pink tu dan dia terjun aku pun tak tahu. Dalam hati aku cuma berasa, dia terjun sebab terpaksa dan berkaitan dengan makhluk-makhluk pelik yang dikatakan bunuh diri tu.

Baru aku sedar, tinggal 3 orang saja dengan aku. Lagi dua orang tu, nampak lebih matang dari aku. Kemudian kami bertiga masuk ke dalam kolam yang dipenuhi pasir tu. Sehingga ada seorang lelaki yang berpakaian serba putih datang menegur. Yang pelik, aku tak dapat membezakan lelaki ini dengan yang sebelumnya. Entah kenapa.

Aku dan dua orang lagi hanya mundar-mandir di sekitar kolam pasir tersebut.

Kemudian lelaki itu berjalan naik tangga yang terdapat disebelah kanan kami. Salah seorang lelaki yang ada dengan kami ikut lelaki itu dan entah apa yang dibuatnya.

Tinggal aku dan seorang lagi lelaki yang aku pun tak kenal. Datang lagi lelaki serba putih memberikan kami semangkuk kacang. Kacang goreng tak silap aku. Kami berdua pun makan. Lalu pula seorang lelaki yang tidak berbaju dan hanya berseluar putih. Melalui kolam pasir itu. Entah apa tujuannya. Aku yang hanya ingin menunjukkan kebaikan, moga-moga aku dilepaskan dari tempat ini memberi segenggam kacang tersebut kepada lelaki tersebut. Dia ambil dan terus berlalu pergi.

Lelaki serba putih itu berlalu pergi menaiki tangga itu lagi. Dan lelaki yang terakhir bersama aku mengikutnya.

Aku hanya duduk di atas pasir itu sambil memejam mata. Tak tahu apa nak difikirkan.

Apabila aku membuka mata, aku dapati di hadapan aku terdapat 3 orang lelaki berpakaian putih. Salah seorangnya ialah Jehan Miskin. Entah macam mana pula dia pun ada di situ. Aku rasa lega. Cuma dia nampak berbeza dengan berserban di mana selalunya dia gemar menayangkan badannya.

Ketiga-tiga orang tu nampak gelisah. Jehan naik ke atas melalui tangga yang aku lihat 2 orang lelaki sebelum ini naik. Dia berlawan dengan seorang lelaki berpakaian serba putih dan berjanggut. Dia menang. Dia turun ke bawah ke kolam pasir dan bergaduh dengan seorang lagi berpakaian serba putih. Dia menang lagi.

Baru aku sedar, 2 orang lelaki yang bersama aku sebelum ini telah kembali bersama aku. Kemudian Jehan dan 2 orang lelaki bersamanya berjalan menerusi lorong suram dan kolam yang menakutkan berhampiran dengan bilik-bilik khas orang bunuh diri. Terdapat beberapa orang berpakaian putih menjaga di pintu pagar. Terdapat sebuah van putih sedang menunggu kami. Lega rasanya boleh keluar. Tiba-tiba aku dapat rasakan bahawa aku dan 2 orang lagi yang bersama aku sebelum ini tidak dapat pulang.

Jangkaan ku tepat sekali.

Hanya Jehan dan 2 orang lelaki itu dapat menaiki van dan kami bertiga tidak dapat keluar. Beberapa orang yang berpakaian serba putih itu menutup pagar. Alangkah hampanya!

Kemudian, aku dan 2 lelaki tersebut berlari. Menaiki tangga yang kami tak pernah naik sebelum ini. Kemudian aku sedar kami naik salah tanggga. Kemudian salah seorang daripada mereka masuk ke dalam satu bilik dan aku menarik tangan lelaki seorang lagi. Pintu tertutup. Lelaki itu tidak keluar. Aku dan lelaki seorang lagi mula berlari dalam keaadaan panik.

Tiba-tiba kami sedar semua bilik-bilik itu merupakan bilik mayat!

Pelik. Tapi tak ada masa nak fikir. Lari ke pintu tangga kembali tiba-tiba jalan mati dan rupanya pintu itu masuk ke tandas. Kami keluar balik, kami di dalam bilik mayat. Patah balik di dalam tandas!

Lelaki tadi mula menjerit “Hantu!” dan menuding jari ke arah cermin tandas. Aku tak nampak apa pun. Kemudian menjerit lagi “Hantu!” di mangkuk tandas. Aku terlalu panik dan terus teringat Tuhan. Aku melaungkan “Allahuakbar!”

Tiba-tiba kami di satu tangga dan terus berlari turun. Aku terus melaungkan azan. Sambil berlari turun. Di sekeliling kami terasa seperti kami berada di hospital dan ramai orang berbaju biru berjalan lalu-lalang dan memerhatikan kami. Aku terus membaca doa yang aku tahu termasuk doa makan, doa ke bilik air sehingga niat berpuasa! Begitu takutnya aku. Kemudian kami berada di pintu pagar yang tiada orang jaga seperti sebelumnya. Kami menunggu... dan aku masih membaca semua doa.

Jam berbunyi.

Pukul 6 pagi rupanya. Aku bermimpi. Tapi mulut ku masih membaca semua doa.

Aku terus berfikir... dan terus berfikir... Adakah aku perlu berubah? Adakah perubahan itu satu perkara yang betul atau aku akan menyesal? Adakah ianya suratan? Entah. Aku bingung.

Aku pegang perutku yang masih sakit. Aku perlu jumpa doktor hari ini.

 

 

(Nota: Cerita sepatutnya terputus-putus sebab aku asyik terjaga dari tidur. Dan sepatutnya lebih panjang. Cuma ini yang aku ingat dan tanpa diedit. Wallahualam...)

Sumber gambar: Solihin

Life is not easy

Jimmy a guy with goals and had achieved important goal like own a house and own a car before his age reach 30.

He planned to gain as much experience and money he could for his next goal, own a business. Yes, a business even though he did not know what type of business suits him, yet. He got a few businesses that might be suit to his cup of tea and they kept playing in his mind.

Laughter is the best medicine. Yes, it is a famous quote. But how true it is? Nobody knows. Jimmy always laughs and smiles, which hide his sorrow that caused by problems that he was facing including family matters, work, and friendship.

He was lucky to have a lover who understands him. A lover that always gives him courage and support no matter how difficult a situation could be. He should be thankful because if not, there is a promise that his life will be upside down. Yes, a promise.

He worries too much about his niece and sister. His mother.

Their financial was crucial. Very crucial. Jimmy did not know how long it will take to make their family back to normal. He still thinks that the problem started when the whole family took loan for sister’s wedding and brought out some cash from the credit cards.

He successfully stopped all the cards and now planned to help the family. But, how?

His brother in law had no job, which made his sister bear all the consequences. The debt was overloaded on her alone such as house, car and kid. Jimmy blamed the brother in law of course even though he did not speak out what he feels. A husband should work hard no matter what and raise his own family. There is no excuse for that. So, Jimmy forced himself to swallow all the excuses given by his mom and sister when he mentioned about this.

His mom helped his sister whenever she got financial problem which gave her more burden and add more debt around her.

Jimmy did not realize that he had depression. He could cry and lock himself in his room. The only thing that played in his mind when he locked himself was he could die soon. Not suicide but with God’s help. That was very pitiful. He blamed himself that he could not help his mom and family. He tried his best to sell clothes and open a small business to save some money for the future. His dad is ill. What about if someone else in the family is sick and need to be warded? None of them has life insurance. That was the pathetic part.

Tick Tack Tick Tack.

The sound of his clock was loud for his ear. His own heart beat was loud too. Why? He wondered. Now, he was at the balcony of his apartment. He was sitting on the balcony wall alone. He felt cold. He could not think of anything anymore. He felt very dizzy. What he could see now, down there were so many people pointing fingers at him. He looked at the sky and smile.

Pencil & Eraser

Pencil: I'm sorry

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.

I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way, they get hurt, and become smaller / older, and eventually pass on. Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

All my life, I've been the pencil. And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day. For I know that one day, all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have.

 

(I got this via email.)

A Better Understanding How The Share Market Works.

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the

villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went into

the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10

and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

He further announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 for each.

This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching

monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people

started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each, and

the supply of monkeys became so small that it was an effort to even

find a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since

he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy

on behalf of him.

  In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at

all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected.

I will sell them to you at $35, and when the man returns from the

city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.'

 

The villagers rounded up

all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

They never saw the man nor his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!

 

 

Now you have a better understanding of how Wall Street works.

A blind girl

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

 

Note: Thanks Mr Por for this beautiful story.

Go and help to clean your mother's hand

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview; the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV, that the youth's academic result is excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never has a year he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarship in school?" and the youth answered "none".

The director asked, " Is it your father pay for your school fees?" the youth answered, my father passed away when I was one year old, it is my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, " Where did your mother worked?" the youth answered, my mother worked as cloth cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hand, the youth showed a pair of hand that is smooth and perfect to the director.

The director asked, " Did you ever help your mother washed the cloth before?" The youth answered, never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books, furthermore, my mother can wash cloths faster than me.

The director said, I had a request, when you go back today, go and help to clean your mother's hand, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that its chance of landing the job is high, when he went back, he happily wanted to clean his mother's hand, his mother feel strange, happy but mixed with fear, she showed her hand to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hand slowly, his tear drop down as he did that. It is first time he found his mother's hand is so wrinkled, and there are so many bruises in her hand. Some bruises incites pains so strong that shiver her mother's body when cleaned with water.

This is the first time the youth realized and experienced that it is this pair of hand that washed the cloth everyday to earn him the school fees, the bruises in the mother's hand is the price that the mother paid for his graduation and academic excellence and probably his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hand, the youth quietly cleaned all remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and sons talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office

The director noticed the tear in the youth's eye, asked: " Can you tell you what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'

The director asked, " please tell me your feeling."

The youth said, Number 1, I knew what is appreciation, without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, I knew how to work together with my mother, then only I can realize how difficult and tough to get something done. Number 3, I knew the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am asking, I want to recruit a person that can appreciate the help of other, a person that knew the suffering of others to get thing done, and a person that would not put money as his only goal in life to be my manager. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates, every employees worked diligently and in a team, the company's result improved tremendously.

A child who has been protected and habitually given whatever he did, he developed "entitlement mentality" and always put himself first. He is ignorance of his parent's effort. When he started work, he assumed every people must listen to him, and when he became a manager, he would never know how suffering his employee and always blame others. For this kind of people, he can have good result, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement, he will grumble and full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parent, did we love the kid or destroy the kid?

You can let your kid lived in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experienced it. After a meal, let them washed their plate and bowl together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parent are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learn the ability to work with others to get thing done.

The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!

A woman baked chapatti for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra chapatti on the window sill, for whosoever would take it away. Everyday, a hunchback came and took away the chapatti. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way: "The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!" This went on, day after day. Everyday, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and uttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"  The woman felt irritated. "Not a word of gratitude," she said to herself...

"Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean?"  One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. "I shall get rid of this hunchback," she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the chapatti she prepared for him! As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled. "What is this I am doing?" she said.  Immediately, she threw the chapatti into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window sill. As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and muttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!" The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman.

Everyday, as the woman placed the chapatti on the window sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return. That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway.  He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw his mother, he said, "Mom, it's a miracle I'm here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole chapatti. As he gave it to me, he said, "This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!" " As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale.
She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chapatti that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life! It was then that she realized the significance of the words: "The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"  Do good and Don't ever stop doing good, even if it’s not appreciated at that time.

If you like this, share it with others and I bet you so many lives would be touched.

Have a wonderful day.

It hurts… so bad.

 

I’m sitting with my wife at the balcony of our house. I look at her, her innocent face. I know how much she loves me and I know how much she wants me to be happy. She will do everything to make me happy and try to suit herself in my group which I called friends.

“Dan, how are you?” asked Lisa.

I guess she was at her favorite spa, taming her beautiful body there. So, called me via her iPhone was just killing time.

“Hey, Lisa… I’m fine thanks. You alive?” I answered blunt and straight forward. Sarcastically, you’d say. But that’s the way you answer to those who only call you when they do not have friends around. I mean, their last resort?

She kept quiet for a minute. Then continue, “That’s sarcastic Dan, but that is so you. Anyhow, we have gathering tonight… you joining?”.

“What gathering?” I had no clue.

“Ah come on! Give me a break. The usual gathering!” she half screamed.

The scream awoke me a little and made me remember about it. I guess the scream worked this time. I giggled a little because I know she was a little annoyed.

“Oh, that one. I won’t be joining. I got things to do” I replied.

“Usual you. Arrogant brat. Ciao” not a good reply from her then I heard a cut off tone.

I continued driving until I reached home. I looked on my Blackberry and found a text message. I wondered why I didn’t realize. The door was opened for me, she, my wife was waiting for me with smile and ready for me to hug her. I gave her a hug… big one then walked in. I looked at the text message again. It was from Lisa.

Please do come tonight, bring your wife too since I knew her and I know you’ll be happier if she is around.

I smiled and replied:

Since you insist, count me in.

As usual, she replied with bitchy remark:

See you there, bitch!

I took off my clothes and talked to my wife.

“Honey, is it ok if we go for my usual gathering tonight?” I asked her.

“Do you want to go? If yes, ok… I’ll go with you” she answered me in sweet way with a sweet smile which could melt my heart easily.

“Thanks, honey. We better get ready or we’ll be late” I hug her from behind and we both walked to shower.

We reached there after 1 hour drive as the traffic was bad today. I wondered if there was any big event in town. But, we were still early. Thank God as I didn’t want Lisa nagging about late again and again. How I wish she could nag herself whenever she is late!

We went in, ordered the food and started to choose our songs. Monica, was so happy to see Lisa who she met few times before. She wanted to gossip and sing while enjoying the dinner.

Lisa was very late.

She came with David, someone we knew in gathering last year. I looked at her face, she was not in the mood. In my heart, I knew it wasn’t a good choice to join the gathering tonight. I hate this. Someone, will have to accept her blow. Finger crossed, I hope it was not me, neither Monica.

Then, came Jerry and Britney.

“Hey! Are you alright???” Lisa asked my wife.

“Yes” she replied while ordering her dinner because the waiter was waiting for her order as she was ready with her choice.

“Why you always show me this kind of face? Hate to see that!” she suddenly yell at my wife.

I was half shock and almost mad. My blood boiled like a volcano was about to explode. My wife held my hand and gave her a smile, still.

She walked to the toilet. I followed. I knew how she feels.

“Honey, are you ok?” I asked her.

“Yes, I’m fine” she started to cry.

“That girl is insane! She can’t expect people to always please her in her way and shouting like that!” I was mad.

“Darling, let her be. Even though I do not know why she did that to me, and it embarrass me, I already forgive her” she replied in tears.

“We can go home now if you want honey” I asked her.

“No, we will go for coffee after this as usual too. She is your friend, and forever friend” she replied.

Sigh. Forever friend who could explode like that whenever and to whoever she wants? I doubt. I knew Lisa before I married to my wife. But still she has to respect my wife as she respects me. If there’s a problem, then I guess, I should quit this gathering thingy and stay home. Be a good husband, instead of hurting my lovely wife like this.

The night went on… with coffee. My wife kept telling me to hide my anger and pretend that there was nothing happen. I did. Hardly.

“Darling, you alright?” my wife ask me.

“Oh… oh yes honey” I smile as I know I have been thinking about it again without realize I am still sitting with my wife at the balcony of our house, sipping our hot coffee while reading newspaper.

I know she is still hurt from that weird incident, being scolded with no reason. She is ok to join them again, but I guess for the time being, I better stay away until I, me, myself feel better. Or is that mean after Lisa knows how to behave like an adult?

Lisa never talk to my wife since then, or even say sorry on her misbehave.

Bapa Pukul Anak Kerana Anak Nak Pakai Tudung!!!

Siapa nampak cara aku mengeliat. Mahu jatuh saham aku huhu.

Tiba tiba aku teringat kisah semalam. Airmata terus berlinang. Terasa amat sayu dan sedih. Salah ke kalau aku nak pakai tudung? Naper abah tak benarkan? Buat pengetahuan korang, bapak aku ni jenis orang yang sibuk giler. Businessman yang sentiasa sibuk. Mak aku dah takder. Meninggal dunia lama dah. Sedih sangat sangat.

Dari jendela, kelihatan cahaya matahari mula menjeluskan diri ke celah-celah langsir tingkap. Jam dah 11:00 pagi. Perut lapar. Aku bangun capai tuala, masuk bilek mandi.

Lepas mandi, aku belek belek tubuhku pada cermin. Alangkah lebih cantik kalau aku bertudung. Aku nekad! Aku akan protes habis habisan kalau bapa aku tak nak juga bagi pakai tudung. Aku sanggup lari dari rumah. Demi kebaikan yang aku pilih. Lantak la dengan ahli keluarga aku yang lain lain. Semuanya tak nak pakai tudung! Tapi aku nak!!!!

Aku turun ke bawah. Baru jea nak buka tudung saji atas meja, terdengar bunyi kereta masuk garaj. Aku jenguk melalui tingkap dan nampak bapa aku balik. Aikkkk, apahal bapa balik awal ni???

Dalam masa yang sama, aku rasa inilah masa yang terbaik untuk desak bapa aku benarkan aku pakai tudung. Now or never!

Bila bapa aku buka jea pintu, aku bersalam dengannya dan tanpa lengahkan masa, aku kata, ""Daddy, cheq nak pakai tudung. Cheq nak!"

Bapak aku terus jegil sebesar besarnya. Macam ada api keluar! Pangggggggggggggggg ggg. Bapa aku hayun penampar ke muka aku! Tersepok aku di celah set sofa.

"Aduhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhh....sampai hati daddy! Cheq tau la daddy rasa malu kalau cheq pakai tudung. Salah ke kalau cheq nak tutup aurat cheq? Kalau adik dan abg tak nak...."

Pangggggggggggggggg gggg....! labuh pelempang ke muka aku sekali lagi sebelum aku abis bercakap.

"Hang jangan nak bagi aku malu naaaa! Hang jangan nak buat pasai! Hang nak pakai tudung buat apa??? Dah 100 kali aku habaq, LELAKI TAK PAYAH PAKAI TUDUNG, LELAKI TAK PAYAH PAKAI TUDUNG!!! Tu la, bila time kelas agama, hang ponteng! Nama hang aku boh "Razali", tup tup lekat jadi AZA sahaja! Memang la dalam rumah ni semuanya tak bertudung sebab adik hang tu lelaki! Abang hang pun lelaki jugak!".

Aku yang tersepuk celah sofa, terus menangis terkedu kedu. Dah la sakit kena tampar, kena pelempang. Tudung pun tak dapat jugak.

SALAH KAH AKU? SALAH KAH AKUUUUUUUU! OOOOO tidakkkkkkkkkkkkk!

P/s: Aku dapat dari email pagi tadi. Thanks to Nurul :)

Tulang rusuk.

WANITA: Siapa yang paling kamu cintai di dunia ini?
LELAKI: Kamu!!!

WANITA: Menurut kamu, saya ini siapa?

LELAKI: (Berfikir sejenak, lalu menatap WANITA dengan pasti).
Kamu, tulang rusukku!

Kerana Allah melihat bahawa Adam kesepian. Saat Adam sedang lena tidur, Allah mengambil rusuk Adam dan menciptakan Hawa. Semua LELAKI mencari tulang rusuknya yang hilang dan saat menemukan wanita untuknya, tidak lagi merasakan sakit di hatinya…

Setelah berkahwin, pasangan itu mengalami masa yang indah dan manis untuk sementara. Setelah itu, pasangan muda ini mulai tenggelam dalam kesibukan masing-masing dan kelelahan hidup yang ada. Hidup mereka menjadi membosankan.

Kenyataan hidup yang kejam membuat mereka mulai menyisihkan impian dan cinta satu sama lain. Mereka mulai bertengkar dan pertengkaran itu mulai menjadi semakin panas. Pada suatu hari pada akhir sebuah pertengkaran WANITA lari keluar rumah.

Saat tiba di seberang jalan, dia berteriak “Kamu tidak cintakan saya lagi!!!”. LELAKI sangat membenci ketidakdewasaan WANITA dan secara spontan juga berteriak “Saya menyesali perkahwinan ini! Kamu ternyata bukan tulang rusukku!!!”

Tiba-tiba WANITA terdiam, dan berdiri kaku untuk beberapa saat. LELAKI menyesali akan apa yang sudah dia lafazkan, tetapi seperti air yang telah tertumpah tidak mungkin untuk diceduk kembali. Dengan berlinang air mata, WANITA kembali ke rumah dan mengambil barang-barangnya, bertekad untuk berpisah.

“Kalau saya bukan tulang rusukmu, biarkan saya pergi. Biarkan kita berpisah dan mencari pasangan sejati masing-masing”.

Lima tahun berlalu. LELAKI masih belum lagi berkahwin, tetapi berusaha mencari khabar akan kehidupan WANITA. WANITA pernah ke luar negeri tetapi sudah kembali. Dia pernah berkahwin dengan seorang asing dan bercerai. LELAKI agak kecewa bila mengetahui WANITA tidak menunggu, sepertinya.

Dan di tengah malam yang sunyi, dia meminum kopinya dan merasakan sakit di hatinya. Tetapi LELAKI tidak sanggup mengakui bahawa dia merindukan WANITA.

Suatu hari, mereka akhirnya bertemu kembali. Di airport, tempat di mana banyak terjadi pertemuan dan perpisahan, mereka dipisahkan hanya oleh sebuah dinding pembatas.

LELAKI: Apa khabar?

WANITA: Baik… kamu sudah menemui tulang rusukmu yang hilang?

LELAKI: Belum.

WANITA: Saya akan terbang ke New York dengan penerbangan berikut. Saya akan kembali 2 minggu lagi. Telefon saya kalau kamu berkesempatan. Kamu tahu nombor telepon saya kan? Tidak ada yang berubah.

WANITA tersenyum manis, berlalu di hujung lafaz “Selamat tinggal…”

Satu minggu kemudian, LELAKI menerima khabar WANITA adalah salah seorang korban Menara WTC. Malam itu, sekali lagi, LELAKI meneguk kopinya dan kembali merasakan sakit dihatinya. Akhirnya dia sedar bahawa sakit itu adalah kerana WANITA, tulang rusuknya sendiri yang telah dengan bodohnya dia patahkan sendiri.....

 

P/s: Read this from my friend’s blog –- Norjan.

I, We miss you!

Four years ago, an accident took my beloved wife away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftover, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all I heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bed sheet and blanket! Boy was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation: "Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet; hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode; I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practice his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around 'cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the postmaster was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized,’ I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was: The letters were for Mummy. My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: “But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: “I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and so I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say.... I told my son, “Son, mummy is in heaven, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just read the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will read the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside and started reading. And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! To day, there was a ‘Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldn’t help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, every day I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven’t you appeared?

After reading the letter, I can’t stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

 

Note: got it via email.

giving up wine

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'
'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.
'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.
'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'
The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'

wo xiang chi ni

 

She kissed my neck. That really gave me a real goose bump. I looked at her and smile.

“Oh! Page 117” she uttered softly to my ear referring to the book that I was reading for the whole day – Twilight.

I kissed her on her lips. A sweet one. It was sweet enough to make her smile and close her eyes tight.

“Are you alright?” I asked her to make sure everything is ok while pinching softly her cute blushed cheek. After few years with Biotherm and Clarin I suppose. They really gave her great skin. Smooth and silky. Shiny and always look healthy. I always brag about it to myself. Why not?

“I’m pretty bored sweetheart; can we go to the mall? I heard they have great sales. Window shopping is good too” she asked me persuasively.

“Ok, let’s go!” I said to her and lifted her up to the shower. Since I know Kath, we never shower alone. I’ll be missing her even a few minutes she vanishes from my eyes. It’s true. Very true.

We took a quick shower and got ready with t-shirt and shorts. Wore the sandals and out of the house. She ran to water the plant while I started to start the engine. Yes, she loved her plants so much. Nature lover I’d say. I’m not a good gardener but I want to grow the plants together with her as much as I want to grow old with her. Forever. That’s my promise.

In the car, she kept talking to me in Mandarin which I didn’t understand a word. I lied, I knew few words. Very basic words as I took Mandarin class before. That was ages. She tried to teach me and I tried to catch up some new words as possible.

“Ni xiang chi shen me?” she asked.

I answered “Wo xiang chi ni”. We both laughed our lungs out.

It’s good for my future and I want to make her happy at the same time. I guess it’s good because I can speak in Mandarin when I meet her parent or sibling and definitely will make them impress. They will like me as a bonus. I want that. As much as my family can accept her, I want her family to accept me too. I want to prove to them that I can make her happy and live with her forever. I must.

“Do you think you can learn it fast?” she asked.

Before I could even say a word she replied “Suppose”.

And we laughed. That’s my favorite word. She knew I’d answer that way. She even felt annoyed sometimes with that word.

Now, actually I got a good book for learning Mandarin. I made a photostat copy from a book that I borrowed from my colleague.

For you, I will learn whatever you want. Whatever that could make you happy. I love you.

used vs loved

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4-yr old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times; not  realizing he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father.....with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'

The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and  kicked it a lot of times.  Devastated by his own actions....sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches the child had written ,  'LOVE YOU DAD'. The next day, that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life..... Things are to be used and people are to be loved. But, the problem in today's world is that, People are used and things are loved... During this year, let's be careful to keep this thought in mind:

Things are to be used, but People are to be loved ... Be yourself..This is the only day we HAVE.

so, it’s that easy?

I’m looking at the computer screen thinking about the sweet memories, even though they are not as many as others. Tapping my keyboard. Not because I have writer’s blockage or boredom, but just my mind becomes blank. Empty. It’s someone leave you in a dark room. A room you never enter before. You have no idea where is bed or even you can’t tell where is the window and door.

My mind flies. To the previous moment. Past time.

I got an email from her.

“Hey, are all the document attached correct?”

I replied “No, next time please be careful”.

A few seconds after that, I got a reply again. It was fast. To me, it’s equivalent to the speed of light.

“Don’t be serious. You always look serious and scare many of us away. Honestly, I think you should smile”.

I smiled.

“Actually, all documents are correct and that was how I joke with people. Maybe in a serious way which only me find it’s funny?” I replied.

I sent another email “Let’s go for lunch. I have no mate to go with anyway. Ok?”

She replied “Sure!”.

When we reached there, the place was crowded. It was unusual.

She chose to eat economy rice with her favorite dish – bareback fish. I still wonder why they called it that way. I didn’t care much about its name. In fact until today, I never bother to find out why. I ordered chicken fried rice. My favorite part. Thigh as usual. It has been a while since I called it thigh last time. Drumstick is more usual than awkward thigh when we talk about chicken.

We sat with other peoples in one table since the place was crowded and we didn’t have much choice. I didn’t care much.

I ate fast as I was hungry. She ate slow but not as slow as snail but she left the rice.

I asked “Why didn’t finish the rice?”.

She answered “Because there is no more fish…” while sticking out her cute tongue.

“Let me take more fish for you?” I replied.

“I’m on diet!” she murmured to avoid other people overheard the conversation.

I laughed.

That was the first laugh after I didn’t laugh for ages. Not that I didn’t find anything funny. Just that I think everything funny was just crap and not worth to focus on.

“Allister!”

Someone is screaming to me. Calling my name.

“God! Do learn some manner will you?” I replied with shock.

“I’ve been calling your name like thousand of times! The director wants to see you now. I hope it’s a good news since you have good reputation lately” said Anna.

“Damn, see you in hell!” I replied with grimace.

While I’m walking to the director’s room my mind running wild. Not about what the director is going to say or ask. But how easy she forgets about me and our moment even though it is short.

So, it’s that easy?

Kath I love you [part 3] – Final

To those who just follow my blog recently, please read part 1 and part 2 before read this final part.

I sat beside the road in the rain. A hot coffee in my hand. My mind was blank. Nothing, seriously. Nada.

My mind didn’t do the talk. But my heart. Deep inside of my heart, I felt sad. Every time when it is raining, my mind will just fly. Fly to nowhere but thinking of how long could I handle this? How long could I pretend that it is ok which it is not really ok?

Sighed.

As I always do when I know I lose or frustrated. Just a simple sigh. No grumbling. No mumbling. Or even no frown on my sweet cheeky long face. I prefer to hide my feeling beneath my heart. No one should know. No. Not even my family. I don’t care if they want to think that I am self centered or idiot. Or any of thousands word they could use from the dictionary that can best describe about me.

I thought of Kath.

Yes, about her. She was still in Taiwan. On vacation with her lover even though she claimed that she has no feeling anymore toward him. I trusted her of course. If I didn’t, how could I be with her till now? Knowing that I’m sharing my lover with another person. It was a heartache. Painful. Pain that you can’t bear with a virgin heart. Mine was mended.

I had been busy with my work. My study. My activities. I did many things to keep me alive and not to think about her so much. Not that I wanted to ignore her. But just that I didn’t want to think or say thing that I don’t mean.

I love her.

I looked at my paper cup that filled with coffee. The coffee was already cold. It just leaked through my finger as the rain kept pouring into the cup. I threw it away. I was totally soaked. I didn’t care.

I looked up to the sky and murmured:

“God, I know my relationship now is forbidden. But I love her so much and I want her to grow old with me till my last breath”.

Sighed. This time it was heavy.

She will arrive at the airport at 11pm. I will fetch her. I wanted to solve this problem for the last time. One last time. No regret. No more pain. Even though I have to live like a corpse with no soul. I couldn’t bear the pain anymore. I didn’t want my mended heart been torn again. No Kath… No.

It was 11pm.

I waited for her at the airport. She walked through the arrival door. She smiled at me. I waved my hand. I smiled back. Only God knows how much I miss her. Most important, how much I love her. I took her luggage and brought to my car. She followed happily. I drove to her house.

As soon as we entered the house, she kissed me. Kissed me deep. For the 20 minutes, we just let the lips did the talking. I knew, it was not the right time to ask or tell anything heartrending.

I held her hand and walked to her room.

“Angel, take off your clothes and go to the shower and I will go in in a minute”.

“Ok, but don’t take too long Sunshine” she replied happily knowing that I would showered her, rubbed her back and shampooed her silky hair.

“I love you”. A simple replied from me. My mind still running wild.

“I love you more!” she simply screamed.

I smiled.

I took off my clothes. I looked at my belly button ring and it reminds me why I did the piercing before. It was because of her. I wanted to experience what ever she has been going through. Even the pain. I didn’t care if anyone would call me faggot just because I have this piercing.

I walked to the shower room. Opened the door and I saw a beautiful body in the shower. She smiled. She purposely splashed the water to my face. Cold water! She knew how much I hate cold water especially early in the morning and late at night.

“Hey! It’s cold!”

“Hahaha so?”. She replied naughtily.

I turned the hot water to make the shower warm. Ah…I felt good. I hugged her from the back, under the shower. Whispered “I love you angel”. She held my hand and put it around her waist. I kissed her neck. Her earlobe. She moaned. I started to caress her. She did the same. It was a hot shower session. I felt like I was in heaven. Satisfied.

She put her cream on while I lied in bed. I didn’t talk much. In fact, I didn’t talk at all since I went out of the shower. She knew there is something not right.

“Sunshine, I know it is dark now but that doesn’t mean you cannot shine at night. Moon needs you to proudly shine bright”. She said it cheekily.

“We must discuss about something important Angel. I want you to choose now, tonight, who you want to be with”. I asked her while I looked down on the pillow on my thigh.

“Sunshine, I already told him that I choose you and we broke up. It was a hard decision to make and it even harder for him to chew”.

I was shock. I stayed silent for few minutes.

“Sunshine, you ok?” she asked.

“I’m so happy Angel! Very happy! Tomorrow I want us to celebrate. We will go somewhere for the champagne. Ok?” I replied.

“Sure Sunshine… with you is always my pleasure”.

“Angel, I want to grow old with you. I want to be with you till the end of my life. I really do!” my heart beats was fast like I was going to get a heart attack.

“But how if I don’t like your wrinkles?” she grinned.

“Then I must make sure I can afford plastic surgery!” I replied back while pinching her cute cheek and pulled her close to me. I kissed her deep with my eyes closed tightly.

We both laughed. Breaking the silence of the night.

boy and apple tree

A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree.

ِِA little boy loved to come and play around it every day.

He climbed to the treetop, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow...

He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.

Time went by...the little boy had grown up,

And he no longer played around the tree every day.

One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad.

'Come and play with me,' the tree asked the boy.

'I am no longer a kid, I do not play around trees anymore'
The boy replied.

'I want toys. I need money to buy them.'

'Sorry, but I do not have money....

But you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money.

The boy was so excited.

He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily.

The boy never came back after he picked the apples.

The tree was sad.

One day, the boy who now turned into a man returned

And the tree was excited 'Come and play with me' the tree said.

'I do not have time to play. I have to work for my family.

We need a house for shelter.

Can you help me?

' Sorry',

I do not have any house. But you can chop off my branches
To build your house.

' So the man cut all the branches of the tree and left happily.

The tree was glad to see him happy but the man never came back since then.

The tree was again lonely and sad.

One hot summer day,

The man returned and the tree was delighted.

'Come and play with me!' the tree said.

'I am getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself.

'Can you give me a boat?' 'Said the man'.

'Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy.

' So the man cut the tree trunk to make a boat.

He went sailing and never showed up for a long time.

Finally, the man returned after many years.

'Sorry, my boy. But I do not have anything for you anymore.

' No more apples for you... ', The tree said.

'No problem, I do not have any teeth to bite ', The man replied.

'No more trunk for you to climb on'

'I am too old for that now' the man said.

'I really cannot give you anything....

'The only thing left is my dying root', The tree said with tears.

'I do not need much now, just a place to rest.

I am tired after all these years' the man replied..

Good! Old tree roots are the best place to lean on and rest,

Come, come sit down with me and rest.

' The man sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears...



This story is about YOU (boy) and your PARENT (apple tree).

a lesson in life

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.

Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

'Hello Barry, how are you today?'

'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.'

'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'

'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.'

'Good. Anything I can help you with?'

'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas.'

'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.

'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'

'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'

'All I got's my prize marble here.' 'Is that right? Let me see it'
said Miller.'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'

'I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.

'Not zackley but almost.'

'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'. Mr. Miller told the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'

Mrs.. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.

With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'


I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very
professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket.

Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs.. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about
her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about.

They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size.... they came to pay their debt.'

'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho .'

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.


The Moral :

We will not be remembered by our words,
but by our kind deeds.
Life is not measured by the breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath.
Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles An unexpected phone call from an old friend ....
Green stoplights on your way to work...
The fastest line at the grocery store...
A good sing-along song on the radio...
Your keys found right where you left them.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU SCATTER THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE LIVED!

First Commenter: Tammy

Kath I love you [part 2]

I reached home quite late. It was because of the bad traffic. The bloody bridge hasn’t finished renovated. I could swear with thousand words or vulgar but I was just too tired to even pick the best vulgar. My head was full. Full with so many things. Parked my car in the garage. I walked straight to my room. “Fuh…!” I whined.

I looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It was 7pm. Weird but true that I had been driving for 2 hours from office to my house. Yes, I know Penang is not big. I really can’t stand with the traffic in Penang.

My legs were shivering. Tired for sure.

I switched on my laptop. Clicked on my Mozilla browser and automatically directed to my blog.

“Haha so many comments...” I laughed after the whole day stress at work with bad traffic as the bonus.

Beep!

My cell phone rang. It was a SMS. I slowly took my cell phone and open the SMS in my inbox. I didn’t know who but I hope it’s her.

Yes. I was right. It was Katherine. Kath.

I started to read the SMS.

Right after I finished reading it, my eyes began to get wet.

Here was how the SMS written:

“Dan, my boyfriend wants me to go to KL and meet him this May and he already book flight ticket to Bangkok end of this year”.

I was shock. Devastated to be exact. My heart crushed. Crushed badly.

I couldn’t stop crying. “Why Kath… why?” I screamed in my heart. I knew I will lose again in this battle.

I called her.

There was no words could came out from our mouth. Not even mutter. We cried. That was how we express our feeling. Sorrowfulness. Very sad. I never cry so loud like that since primary school. I just could no longer bear the pain.

“I give you time Kath ok? Don’t make any decision yet please”.

“I’m sorry Dan, I can’t afford to hurt you anymore. I love you so much and I love him too but you know I can’t leave him. Our relationship is 5 year now… you know…”

“I don’t want to hear about it anymore Kath! Please…”

“I’m sorry Dan… I have to leave you. I don’t want you anymore… sorry… I can’t leave him and I know I’m very mean by making this decision”

“Kath, please… I can’t live without you. You’re my oxygen. I can’t live without you… I can’t breathe”

“It’s my fault Dan. I’m sorry… please forgive me…”

She hung up.

My head went blank. Nothing in my mind. I didn’t feel sad anymore. I didn’t feel happy too. I felt nothing. I didn’t see my future anymore. I had no reason to live.

I went to my study table. I took some pills from the table. The one Kath gave to me when I was sick. Different type of pills.

I chose Paracetamol. Written on the tablet -- 650.

I called her. She answered the call and I could tell that she was sad and still crying.

“Kath, you know I can’t live without you. You don’t love me anymore…”

I started to munch the pills. A handful.

“No..!!! Dan…!!! Please…!”

First Commenter : Ad Rifza