Saturday, January 17, 2009

Are you ready to get married?

Don't ask me why I choose this picture.

Yes a big question pops up in my mind this morning. Why do you get married?

There are a lot of reasons for us to get married such as perfect age, you are getting older and need to settle down, to make parent happy, parent’s choice and inheritance.

But are you ready for this big commitment? Are you ready to take the entire burden that will occur in the future? Is your financial stable? Will you still depend on your parent if there are problems?

Remember, if you are a Muslim (I guess it can be used by other race and religion as well) there is few things you must consider before getting marry. The things are:

  1. You must be healthy. Healthy here means you have no sexual problem (such as erectile dysfunction for male). Making love is the basic thing in marriage which most people don’t take it serious about it and neglect. I know some people; even put it as the first priority which sex (when the action is not based on love anymore, we simply called it sex and I would rather call it plain vanilla sex -- it’s dull) is the purpose of marriage. That is absolutely wrong. You must know how to balance it. So, there is always romance in making love.
  2. You must be wealthy. Wealthy here doesn’t mean you must be rich. It is important for the husband to be able to support financially in the marriage. This doesn’t mean wife can be happy with her saving without care the husband’s financial at all. This can be discussed and toleration is always the best. But if the wife doesn’t allow the husband to use her money that means husband can’t touch her money at all. But it is a responsible for him to provide the necessary things for living like food and shelter. For male, if you can’t even live on your own and always have an empty account every month end, how do you think you can provide food and shelter for you and your wife, worse your family? (I know most people don’t have family planning and in this modern era (not to forget economic downturn) it’s very bad if you simply make kids without any consideration).

I see many friends and colleagues struggle in their marriage because of the second point. Most people get married young with a good excuse that they can see the kid grows be an adult when they are old. Well, good common sense there but based on the second point, are you financially ready? I see them apply personal loans for the wedding and at the same time apply for housing and car loans for the marriage preparation. After get married they are facing with great financial problem and start to borrow money from friends and more personal loan from bank. For the financial wise view, any loan that brings you negative cash flow to your account is a bad loan, bad debt. If you can’t even survive with just you and wife, do you think you can survive with kid in the family? Time flies very fast. It is like a blink, and you see things are different and time has past by. Kid need to grow and live. You need money for their shelter, food and education. Raising a kid is not an easy task but since you choose to get married and have kid then I assume you are already stable in financial.

It is not hard for you to get married. Get yourself a cute woman or handsome muscular guy and end up with marriage. But that’s not the important thing in marriage. The important thing is after the wedding. I feel weird why some people like to spend so much on the wedding which usually happens only for one day. Most people like to make it as grandest as they could to make friends and colleagues jaw dropped and the grape vine communication spread around. But do you think it is worth it?

My conclusion is the question these days should be “Are you ready to get married?” instead of “When do you want to get married?”


P/s: To women out there, find yourself a financial stable man and remember everyone will be ugly when they are old.


82 comments:

  1. No, I am not ready to get married. I don't think I'm financially ready, and I still like my single lifestyle! I'm just not ready to take on a married life's responsibilities. Also, I find it really tough to make a relationship work in the long term - it takes a lot of hard work, and sometimes I just think being single is much easier and less problematic. Btw, why must we get married?

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  2. Anonymous12:34 PM

    Love! You didn;t say anything about love and sacrifice!!!

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  3. R u ready to getting married dude..?

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  4. "remember everyone will be ugly when they are old"

    it's true, people tend to look on appearances, even me sometimes... *sigh*

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  5. to me, the vision in love is to get married. I'm agreed with u which healthy and wealthy are important to achieve this vision.

    plan our financial wisely from now. practice 'istiqamah' in our life & remember that 'nawaitu' to marry is juz to Allah...

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  6. Foong - Yes sometimes even if we are financially stable but we choose to be single for 101 reasons. We want to live life to the fullest but for some reasons it's not about sharing yet. Maybe the time will come but we have no idea when. It's advisable that we choose carefully when is the best time to end up our single life. why must we get married? good question and my friend did ask me about this 2 years ago. He told me that most of his friends marriage end up with divorce. He has 5 good friends and all of them get married. End up, 1 of them last and the rest just end up with divorce. After all the money you spend for the one you think you love and love you like you do, the wedding party and so on, and this is what you get? I was speechless when he asked me about this after I asked him about "You are a millionaire and why you ain't married until now?". So, everyone has their own reason for getting married and also for staying single. I'm with you Foong, I'm not ready too. Some people who know me might know what is my priority at the moment :)

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  7. Suituapui - Most people get married because of love of course and sacrifice come along with love. But for this post my concern is about those who are struggle with financial problem now. I feel sad to see them struggle that way but nothing I can do rather than advise.

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  8. Dill - No, I am not ready :)

    Cik Siti - Yes, it's easy said than done. It's a lie if we say we only seeking for inner beauty rather than physical attraction. But I think it is not a lie anymore when we say that because money is the priority now. With the great cost of living and bad economy nowadays, things turn differently.

    Hussaini - If you make a research by using your friends, colleagues, family and relatives as your materials... you will find out that 90% of them are struggling with the financial problem and a lot of debts around them. Believe it or not, you decide :)

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  9. Anonymous3:23 PM

    I'm ready , i'm ready..
    Hahaha . :P

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  10. Berrykisses - Long way to go girl :)

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  11. insyaAllah yanie sudah bersedia.....

    (^_^)

    ♥Yanie Putrajaya♥

    *********************************

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  12. Yanie - Alhamdulillah. Banyak maksud dalam "bersedia". Diharap berkekalan hinggga ke akhir hayat :)

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  13. Anonymous4:36 PM

    Are you married my friend? Ha ha.. Great tips nevertheless. I just one thing to add. Marriage is unpredictable since people change from time to time. You thought you found a great man, honest, caring, etc. but you never know what he will become say 10 years from now. But, never scare of getting marriage - be responsible to your family always and pray to Allah that your marriage will forever bless by the great lord. Malaysia Boleh.. Kawin Pun Boleh.

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  14. wah cik yanie dh ready la..alhamdulillahh...:P

    well..mentally n physically kena ready kalo nak getting married nie...

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  15. Ismail - It's the commitment that counts. Again, the financial status is very important and we must put it on the first priority before end up into a conclusion -- marriage. Unpredictable comes second as I also believe in fate. If there is a fate that we are not belong to each other, even after 20 years, the marriage might end up with a divorce. This come with a package which I stated in the post called "toleration". By the way pal, I haven't married and even though I have planned about it 2 or 3 years ago and canceled it after few consideration and end up the woman married with someone else, still I have no regret regarding it. I know what I want in life and someday I will be meeting the right one for me at the right time. Lets pray! :)

    Wahidah - Duit adalah jawapannya. Try tanya member-member yang dah kawin. Apa masalah paling besar mereka? :)

    Kebanyakan dari mereka akan berkata "Kalau dah kawin nanti baru tau macam mana susah nak rolling duit". Pelik kan bila orang cakap perkahwinan itu indah? :) 90% orang dah kawin cakap macam tu. Tak percaya cuba tanya.

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  16. Anonymous5:14 PM

    haha .
    tau xpe .
    saje je nak menyebok sbnrnya . :P

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  17. Berrykisses - Apa pandangan Cik Berrykisses dalam hal ini? Nak juga tahu pendapat remaja sekarang :)

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  18. Anonymous5:39 PM

    Hal kawen2 ni ke ?

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  19. Berrykisses - Have you read the post? :)

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  20. Anonymous6:23 PM

    Yes .
    Tapi tak tau nak ckp pe .
    Haha .

    To me , duit ni penting kalau nak kawen .
    Tapi my parents kawen masa study .
    Ok je membesarkan kami semua . :P

    And ,
    pasal rupa ni .
    Maybe cukupla cari yang sedap mata memandang . ;)

    Tapi ada pegangan agama , tu yang lagi penting kan ? :DD

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  21. Berrykisses - Hmm, your parent came from a wealthy family kan? I think so, as not many people can get married when they are still in college or university because most of the wedding expenses will be on the parent.

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  22. Anonymous6:44 PM

    wealthy ?
    tak laa .
    atok belah ayah keje kerani yang gaji dia berapa ratus je . (ayah yang cakap)
    tapi tak tau la .
    zaman dulu berbeza kot .
    they got married at the age of 22 .
    ok tak ? ;)

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  23. Berrykisses - Same goes with my mom and dad, they got married when they were around that age too. Was it the typical pattern of people referring to age at that time?

    Tapi terkejut juga kawin time study. Macam mana cari duit?

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  24. Hmm, I got married almost 31 years ago, and I think so much of the success was luck - you don't know someone very well when you marry them!

    Thank you for stopping by synchronizing. Such a to-do!

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  25. Anonymous7:24 PM

    tesalah .
    parents kawen umo 23 la .
    this 2nd feb will be their 25th anniversary . ;)

    i guess so .
    you know how people was back then .
    kawen awal-awal .
    macam tak de keje laen .
    tapi lagi bagus daripada buat maksiat kan?

    your parents kawen masa study jugak tak ?
    tak taula macam mana mereka dapat duit . :)

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  26. Ruth - 31 years is a great relationship I would say. My parent relationship is only 28 years yet still make me astound.

    You are lucky as luck was on your side and congratulation for the long lasting marriage :) I know it's not easy to maintain.

    I like your blog and now doubt it has been highlighted by Blogspot.

    Berrykisses - My parent has no higher qualification than secondary school and started work at their early age. So, there is no doubt about them getting married early too. But yes I think nowadays we are recycling the old pattern about marriage at the young age. It was not few years back :)

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  27. Anonymous8:00 PM

    Owh ic .

    Sekarang ni mmg org ramai kawen awal pon .
    My mom's cousins yang below 25 pon dah ada yang kawen .
    Hopefully you'll get married soon [very soon] :P

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  28. Berrykisses - Not so soon. I really mean it :) I have plethora of plans in hand to fulfill my wish.

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  29. Anonymous8:17 PM

    Haha .
    As you wish . :P

    So what are you reading now ?

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  30. Berrykisses - Stuck with Amazing Story until now. Lol. I try to be multitasking but hardly!

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  31. Anonymous8:47 PM

    Amazing Story ?
    What its all about ?

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  32. hey dude..lots of comments already ;)

    anyway..i reckon marriage is actually a big decision to make. We never know whether he's the right guy or not. Commitment is really crucial.

    Financially stable is one of the main criteria. Nowadays, women tend to have 'more money' than the guy. Sharing and understanding is the best way in this to negotiate how to tackle all the bills and housekeeping groceries etc.

    By the way, i also think Malay girls are high maintenance and didnt think for future. Some of them really dependent on their hubby for financial. Having a property at young age is good rather than spending your money to buy shoes, makeup and clothes.

    Ohh..i just forgot..I'm a girl too..Perhaps the way I think is different :P

    That is just my two cents. No offense.

    By the way, I love your entry :)!! Keep it up :)

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  33. Anonymous10:31 PM

    jom kawin! WAKAKAKAKAKA

    i never really thought about it
    because.. idk.. for me, i prefer to have something in my life that i can be proud of before settling down

    i cant understand how some of my friends (same age btw) got married way too early!

    one of the big Q apart from financial stability is.. are you ready to spend the rest of ur life with someone?
    let say.. spending 40-50 years with the same person (if kawin awal i mean)

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  34. When I was still in the "bujang club", I have a colorful and wonderful life. When I left the club and joined the "single-no-more" club, suddenly I have so many lovely life that make mine a wonderful one.

    I hope you will join my club soon bro.

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  35. so r u...urself ready to tie d knot???
    :)

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  36. good thought!

    cabaikering

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  37. Anonymous1:12 AM

    Salam there Faisal,

    The question of whether one is ready or not to enter the marriage-hood should not be that complicated, but the world we living in nowadays where 'chaos' is almost every corner of the globe, one would ponder of whether it is worth it to go to the next step.

    Believe it or not, every day there are hundreds of divorce applications in Malaysia (both civil and syariah) with numerous reasons. Some are just being married for a week; some are for more than 30years...all end up with divorce. Some are wealthy and some are poor. The reasons aplenty.

    It's quite devastating to note that divorce seems the easy way out nowadays. Slow talk? Naaa..they don’t write it in their dictionary when there are fights. Of how good you are to try to consult them, believe me, once they made their decision, nothing can stop them. BUT, don’t be surprised when they come to you again after few weeks and told you that they wanna make up and make amend of their wrong doings. Isn’t it such a waste of time?

    In my opinion, either you married or not, that is not the question. But whether you can sustain your life to its full use that matters. I am sure that we heard a lot of feedbacks and comments from our married friends of how lucky we are for being single like there is no problem. See, they associate those single person leads a carefree life. But there are also some married couples who would come to us and talk to us of how wonderful it is to be called a husband/wife or father/mother and urge us to join their club the next hours. I would say, their intention is good that they prefer us to tie the knot early so that we can lead our life and focus more on the so-called teamwork hand-in-hand to the road of happiness, but should the time has not come to us yet, what is such a hurry?

    I am not ready to tie the knot, and am not really looking for one as yet. A lot of plans that need to be executed before I am financially, emotionally and spiritually ready to be called a wife and a mother. There are a lot of things that warrants my attention. I presume you too.

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  38. Anonymous3:29 AM

    Hi Faisal!

    Thank you for your comment on my blog. Interesting thoughts about marriage - but I guess the older you get in a relationship with someone you´re not married to, the harder it is to make the final decision.

    Best wishes, Veronika Yngwe

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  39. I think for me to commit to something this huge, the first thing I have to make sure is that I am a completely whole and am not carrying anymore past baggages around.

    It would be unhealthy to start a new relationship, if you haven't figured yourself out and worked on your personal issues 1st.

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  40. Anonymous11:08 AM

    i shall not comment more on this:P

    nice P.O.V btw~

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  41. Anonymous11:25 AM

    Oh no. This year I turn into 24 years old already. Honestly to say, I still not ready at all because my wealth not yet stable.
    Eventhou my family start to push me already. =x

    But I'll find second or third for sure when I really get ready & marry her. You know what is the first wife isn't it? xD

    p/s: I wish I could grab the moon everytime I see it. What means is it?

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  42. Info yang sesweiii..hehe..Ad ni bila laa nak kawin ni..Kita nak org tak nak ,org nak kita tak nak...kih3..

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  43. Berrykisses - It's a a story about a woman who was raised in a struggle family with a sex maniac step father who molested her during puberty age. Not enough with that, she was raped by that monster. To know the story in detail, you have to wait until I put the review in this blog. No exact date to be promised yet :)

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  44. Inah - Hey Inah! Well I suppose lots of comments don’t mean anything to you and not a promise to stick to a blog with plethora of comments and unbelievable visitor counter? I am not talking about mine seriously haha.

    Yes I agree with you marriage is not an easy task and it is about you make the right decision or the decision will simply haunt you for the rest of your life. It is about happy ending or life full of regret. Commitment is crucial I agree and adventurous life is always a good thing to explore. Don’t you think?

    I couldn’t agree more on there are many professional career women out there which can live alone and only need to be loved to stay out of sorrow and melancholy. They ready to spend out money for the one they love and the status of the guy about his job and money never is a problem. There is a case in my company where office boy married with a woman officer. It is pretty common nowadays.

    I would run if I see any high maintenance woman doesn’t matter the race and the skin color. There is an excerpt in a book which I can’t recall its title says “Woman is a liability” which sometimes I kind of agree especially when seeing some women buying stuff they don’t really need as retail therapy. That is very scary!

    Thanks for the compliment. I hope there is a good topic to write about soon.

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  45. Adila - I think because we are single and we are not thinking of getting one at this moment make us think that getting married at the early age is unnecessary. For someone who are in love their mind is only one goal which is to end this beautiful relationship with marriage which means they are belong to each other forever. I once got this kind of feeling and thinking too. For some reasons I have sacrificed my relationship which I did regret and I know there is no turning back. I was struggling between my dream and my love. End up she gave up. I’m listening to Huang Hun while commenting on this and it really gives me watery eyes. I have bunch of memories regarding love to reminisce which I keep it beneath my heart. Only me, yes only I know the truth.

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  46. DrSam – For some reasons I am not ready financially, mentally and I am haunted by the past. Love hurt. I might look like someone who doesn’t care much about love but actually I am afraid to fall in love again. Heartbroken is not easy to mend the scar can’t be erased because there is no plastic surgery in love dictionary.

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  47. Masni - No I am not ready.

    Cabaikering - Thanks :)

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  48. Zara – Salam Zara. To me it is still complicated Zara as future is like gambling. You don’t even know the result but you put yourself at risk, great risk I would say but I understand exactly that is life. A lot of thing you have to consider. Do you know that even Warren Buffett’s brilliant son can’t maintain his marriage with Mary? So if someone says it is easy, then I personally doubt.

    Yes, you know better about the divorce stats Zara as you are in the field. It might be horrible to be in your position as this will really frighten you day and night and make you stop thinking about tie the knot this soon. I won’t.

    Agree with you Zara single or married is not a problem here but how you live life to the fullest is the most important thing among all. I believe love is in the air and I do believe in fate.

    Yes, I have things to get done until one fine day I am ready to love and be loved by someone called wife.

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  49. Veronika Yngwe – It is because of so many responsibilities when we get older?

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  50. Rozella – At some points, I think we think alike and we have same experience of love. I need to be whole again too.

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  51. Salam...

    Masing-masing ada pendirian sendiri, keperluan untuk kahwin ni.

    Its a very subjective thing to be discussed.

    Apa pun, pada pendapat aku, 1st skali untuk kahwin ni kena mentally prepared. Even if a man who is well-funded, stable financial, tapi takde mental preparation, finally lingkup gak.

    If I made a decision to get married, then its not a one or two days preparation. It maybe takes a month, a year to be well prepared.

    macam ang la, kalau nak masuk match badminton cthnya, mestilah kena prepare sebulan sblm tu, kena maintain fitness, well-trained.. Xde la sok match baru nak buat sume benda-benda tu, btl x?

    Atau seseorang yg selalu main badminton, but he doesn't has any desire to compete in a tournament, kalau masuk gak, kalah pun takpe.

    So the most important thing is mental preparation. When you are setting your mind to get married, then work for it.

    Kalau nak kate tak sedia je, sampai mati la tak kahwin gitu.

    Untuk soklan ang Admar :

    Yes, I'm ready to get married. Just let the river flow, andai jodoh sampai, plan it well, then kahwin je.

    Allah know best.

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  52. MsRahah - Why not? :)

    Bryan - Haha yes I know who is the first wife! You have good goal and vision as far as I know you Bryan.

    "I wish I could grab the moon everytime I see it. What means is it?"

    The truth is it is impossible. But you can learn about moon and someday you will be able to touch it. That's how life should be :)

    Ad - Nak kahwin tu sekejap saja Ad. Nak hidup lepas berkahwin tu selamanya :) Buat lah pilihan yang betul.

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  53. Syphoon – Salam...

    Instead of financially and mentally stable, aku ada beberapa perkara yang perlu aku pikul sebagai anak sulung. Banyak benda yang pelu aku selesaikan. Adik aku yang kedua dah berkahwin dan berpindah untuk memulakan hidup baru sebagai satu keluarga. Adik bongsu aku pula sedang belajar dan kalau diizinkan aku nak tunggu sampai dia habis belajar. Jadi tak lah beban sangat parent aku untuk tanggung dia belajar. Dah dua orang anak mereka tanggung takkan sorang ni adik aku pun aku yang bekerja ni tak boleh nak tolong Bantu ringankan tanggungan mereka. Mak aku ada berkata, dia dah bersedia jika satu hari nanti semua anak-anak pindah tapi dia masih berharap aku stay dengan mereka. Ayah aku diabetis agak kritikal. Semua benda yang berat tak boleh buat dan selalu keletihan dan pening-pening. Aku sorang saja anak lelaki dalam family. Kalau nak pergi sana sini memang adik aku yang bongsu boleh drive tapi kalau nak solve problem dengan bank ke apa-apa ke, aku perlu ikut untuk tolong mak aku. Kalau boleh aku nak cari bakal isteri yang boleh bertolak ansur di mana boleh hidup sekali dengan parent aku. Niat aku, aku nak jaga parent aku sampai ke akhir hayat. Aku masih berpegang pada takdir. Aku tak nafikan bahawa kita perlu berusaha untuk mencapai sesuatu dan tidak bergantung harap pada takdir sahaja. Aku telah berusaha dan akan berusaha lagi, itu semestinya. Tapi ajal maut dan jodoh telah ditentukan. Itu kita kena akur. Apa yang ada dalam fikiran aku sekarang ni, nak bantu adik bongsu aku sampai ke universiti dan hantar parent aku pergi Haji dengan duit aku sendiri. Insyaallah…

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  54. P/s: To women out there, find yourself a financial stable man and remember everyone will be ugly when they are old.

    Haha. Financial stable guy are hard to find nowadays. Are they even exist?

    Ada yang pancing perempuan kat real estate fair sebab nak lay on perempuan kaya. Dayus kan? Yucks. Tak malu btol.

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  55. Cahaya - They are exist but maybe hidden. But with the guy's ego no doubt they will fall into beautiful woman's prey.

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  56. life is too short to be ordinary kan..so takyah a kawen kalau tak sedia ..hehe..

    to answer your Question above-yeh,i'm not ready yet to tie da knot..not even close..haha

    Live your Life k(sila enjoy lagu Rihanna feat TI nih..)

    :)

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  57. Axim - That's my blog's title :) Betul tu, tak perlu kawin kalau belum bersedia. Umur bukan penghalang kan?

    Sekarang tengah layan lagu Huang Hun :)

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  58. are you financially stable?


    ni kawan i yang tanya.


    ngeheh.

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  59. Green Apple - Who is she? *wink*

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  60. me? married? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

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  61. Aizat - What is wrong with marriage? :)

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  62. teja rasa..semua org mungkin bersedia untk kawen bila da ada duit, ada rasa nak lebih bertanggungjawab dan lebih matang dalam berfikir...

    duit penting wooo...xda duit susah mau hidup maaa...

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  63. gf pn xpnah ada nk married haha!! nk jd eligible bachelorlaa haha!!

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  64. Teja - Betul tu. Tak ada bukan saja nak kena fikir macam mana nak pinang anak dara orang, kena juga fikir macam mana nak spend untuk kenduri dan macam mana pula nak bela anak orang lepas kawin nanti? :)

    Aizat - Hmm setiap orang ada sebab tersendiri :)

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  65. I think it's easier for women to get married if they find a man who can provide for their basic needs for herself and future children.

    For men, well, yeah.. you need to be financially stable. My advice, Faisal, starts from the beginning. The wedding. There's no need to blow off a lot of money for the wedding because that's when the financial crisis starts. So keep it small and simple.

    As for finding the person you want to end up old and wrinkly with, we can only hope to find the right person... jodoh tetap di tangan Tuhan.

    I also think that most people think soooo hard about getting married but when it comes to divorce, it's as if the decision is made without much thought at all. Tak tahan je, nak minta cerai.

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  66. Oh and some advice on finding the right partner, is someone who gives you equal passion.. in conversation, in interests, in love. If only one person is passionate about life, it will eat away at the relationship eventually.

    Find someone who you communicate well with, someone who never tires of having a great conversation with you. I know there are times when both are too tired to communicate, but seriously, if both of you are passionate about each other, you'll enjoy each others company until you grow old.

    ;) All the best!

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  67. i'm getting marry soon... financial...mmg masalh utama... semua bende pon mempunyai nilai harga yg tinggi...

    but rmai gak yg cakap, nak kahwin ni, rezeki murah... nway..murah tahap mana tu tak tau ah..rezki masing2 kan...

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  68. Shemah – “I think it's easier for women to get married if they find a man who can provide for their basic needs for herself and future children.”

    So you agree to some people say that woman is dependent? Hehe. Many women defending themselves from this fact and they will get aggressive and defensive if any man mention about this in front of their face.

    I agree with you Shemah most marriage end with a divorce because there is no patience and toleration in the marriage. Most people think they are mature enough, adult enough and they are always right. That’s the root of divorce which no one ever realizes.

    I like the excerpt from a movie “I wan to grow old with you”. I even said this to someone once.

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  69. Shemah – I’m reading “An Amazing Story” and it teaches me about similarity in relationship is very important. I agree with you :)

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  70. Zuhaimi - Looking at your profile you are just 23 year-old right? Hmm a young guy :)

    Tapi saya percaya pada takdir dan ketentuan Tuhan. Kalau dah ditakdirkan kahwin awal, maka tak salah kan? :)

    Semoga berkekalan ye!

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  71. dah ready faisal?? akak tunggu kad je

    :)

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  72. MummySyafie - Kad? Haha lagi 5 tahun kot?

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  73. amin... baguih laa hg nak kawin.. jgn jadi gayboy... wahahahhahahaha

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  74. well, i think if you know it in your heart and mind, then you are ready to be married. it's a commitment, not something you do just for fun.

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  75. Zerockx - Cheh hang tu pun tak kawin lagi. Huhu...

    Farah - I agree Farah. I'm definitely not ready yet :)

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  76. I like your last sentence! I laughed out loud when I read it but stopped short when I think that it'll happen to me too. Yikes! Thanks for the reminder.

    True, true, so much focus is put on the wedding day itself. It's the same with movies. They show how guy gets girl or vice versa, how they overcome some obstacle and finally the big day. But they forget to show what happens after the wedding. They make it like some fairy tale but like you put it, life ain't a fairy tale at all.

    Man, it sucks to have to borrow money. Best that we don't borrow at all! If we can't afford it, then forget it.

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  77. Josette - Hehe yes it's funny but you know that is what happening these days :)

    Yes I agree the last paragraph of your comment about you get it when you can afford or else forget it :) Nowadays I have taught people around me about this and to throw away their credit cards! :)

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  78. It is true that all beautiful or handsome will turn old, ugly.

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  79. Coolingstar - Yes, so why choose the beauty? Hehehehehehe!

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  80. kahwin!. wow~ love this topic damn much. hee~ =)

    nway, for some reason, i do set myself to get married by 23 years old (next year). I m not so well-planned person, but do have missions to accomplish by its own time line.

    Hurm, finding a guy who has financially stable? what can you describe about stability? Humans always want more and more and more. No doubt! So, for some people, when they got RM2k/month, they feel that is just enough. But on the other hand, somebody already got RM50k/ month, but still mumbling : "I m not done with this bloody world yet."

    No offense when people said that women are depending on her hubby etc. For my side, financial is really subjective. Just like beautiful and handsome matters. Its depends. But the real thing is about the basic i.e spiritual. As a husband, can you guide your wife and your future child into the right path? Allah.

    Last 6 months, I feel like I m ready for getting married. Find a good man, and be his wife. I m not an ordinary person for now, but I wanna be really ordinary housewife when I am turning into 30 years old later. But, some miracles happened. Last two weeks, I just look back into my time-line. and decided to postponed the 'kahwin' thingy. ahaha I m too busy! Really busy because I m not an ordinary girl. Really scared that I cant handle the responsibilities wisely. Just realized it. Gosh!

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  81. Balqissy - I wrote this after I saw by myself how a family with financial problem struggling to survive. Trust me, money really a problem. You need money to raise your kid and also to have a comfortable life :)

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