Backstabber

reach office at 7.30am. called up my friend for meeting up at the toast and egg stall near Maybank. he agreed.

8am. was in the office. start doing work. lately i just not in the mood of lazying around. no. no. no.

8.30am. chief clerk called us. "we have meeting with the director at 9.00am about our stats".

i nodded.

9.00am. took my notepad and pen and walked together with others to the director's room. no chair or sofa. i murmured to myself "aik! where's the sofa?". i stopped looking around like an idiot. there were 3 chairs. 2 for both chief clerks. 1 more left. after few minutes of talking by him, i sat down. well... why stand when there was one more chair left?

he read the stats. amazingly my stats was great. no mistake at all. director was happy with my stats compared to other branch. i was speechless. shocked. deep in my hard, i thanked God and smile. he congratulated me and wanted me to maintain the good work. i murmured to myself again "yes, i took the work home and even did overtime!".

around 9.30am. the meeting was over. i walked out happily.

some said good things to me (even though i smell sarcasm) and some had frown on their face.

i took a voucher to the account department (we use payment voucher before cheque can be made). on my way, i smiled. happy. felt energetic. i thanked God non stop. i even smsed mom telling her that the hardwork all this while is worth it. she replied "lol, yeah right after some arguements with the staff". i smiled.

when i returned to my chair. the aunties were still look unhappy. all in sudden they spoke out loud in sarcasm.

number 1: i think the repayment case was made by you. and 1 mistake in that section. so your stats ain't zero mistake as been told by the director.

number 2: if they want to make stats like this. be honest. be fair.

number 3: ah faisal. you got good stats because you know the account department well.

i was puzzled. man... i didn't expect that i will get good result like this. last month wasn't the best one. and i was so happy that you, yes you my colleague got good result. but why when it happen to me, you guys felt not satisfied and unhappy?

i still remember some of you even kidding about not changing my job description anymore as i will learn too many things? i'm confuse. totally confuse. why should you guys envy at me? after all we are friends right? sigh.

my morale went down drastically. i didn't talk much. i climbed up the stairs and went to the account department again and told them next time if i got zero mistake again please put some figures in the stats. so they can be happy and smile all day long. i don't mind. account department staff were stunned.

i walked down slowly. haggardly. confused. sad. mad. puzzled.

my chief clerk called me up. i met him. "they met me just now and telling me they were not satisfy with the stats which was so unfair as account department is close to you". i replied "i have no comment about that". he said "its hard to work with women don't you think?". me "i believe god is fair... its okay". i continued discuss about the budget with him. deep in my heart... very upset. those who i treat like my own sisters. yes my own elder sisters as i don't have any elder sister or brother backstabbed me. its hurt. really hurt. i'm bleeding badly. i don't think the scar will fade away. i'm sensitive yes. but even if you aren't sensitive this would be to much for you to bear. it'd surely boiling up your red blood from toe to the head. but... i stayed calm. i used to be aggresive and defensive. today, i chose to be calm. a deep breath... i smiled even though its not a good one.

i will remember this "sweet" memory forever.

p/s: another thing is... to the officer who in charge taking care of company computers stop accusing me using office internet by stealing boss ip just because i'm good in computer. stop accusing me updating my blog (no idea how did you find out my blog) in the office, i have lots of works to get done. lastly, stop telling me that writing about my company is wrong and dangerous. did i curse my company? and what's wrong if they know where i work? i don't want to be discreet, any problem to you? you were not the one who pays me the salary. do your job and don't be nosy ok? smelling your own butt rather than smell others. eww!