Singh.

> > > One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America . A lady came > > > and asked him, " Are you relax-ing?" Singh answered, "No, I am Banta > > > Singh". Another guy came and asked the him the same question. Singh > > > answered, "No No Me Banta Singh!" Third one came and asked him the > > > same question again. > > > Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While > > > walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to him > > > and asked, "Are you Relaxing? The other Singh was a lot more educated > > > and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing." > > > The Singh slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid, idiot-fool. Everyone > > > is looking for you and your are sitting over  absolutely doing nothing!" > > > > > > **************************** > > > > > > A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint > > > Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in > > > education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective > > > heavenly soul, he must answer two questions: > > > > > > 1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T". > > > 2. How many seconds are in a year? > > > > > > The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered... 1. The two days > > > of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow. 2. There are > > > 12 seconds in a year. > > > > > > Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even > > > though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds > > > in a year?" > > > > > > The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March > > > 2nd,etc.." Saint Peter lets him in without another question or word. > > > > > > ********************************* > > > > > > Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low > > > all around his living room. Jasmeet : "What are you searching for?" > > > Santa : "Hidden cameras!" Jasmeet : "And what makes you think that > > > there are hidden cameras here?" Santa : "That guy on TV knows exactly > > > what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are > > > watching CNN'. How does he know that?" > > > > > > ********************************** > > > > > > Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and started > > > thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; > > > what are you thanking God for ?" The Singh replied "I am thanking Him > > > for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, > > > otherwise I would have been missing too." > > > > > > ********************************** > > > > > > Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final > > > examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the > > > question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration > > > takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then > > > removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks > > > and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and > > > asks what is going on. Sir, I am only following the instructions in d papers"! > > > It says here "Answer the following questions in brief". > > > > > > ************************************* > > > > > > Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like > > > hell. > > > So the other asked, "Why are you crying?" > > > The first one said, "I came here for blood test" > > > Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid " > > > First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my > > > finger" > > > Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was > > > astonished and asked the other, Why are you crying?" > > > The other replied, "I have come for my urine test." > > > > > > ************************************** > > > > > > A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to > > > wash hands but starts washing the basin instead. > > > The manager comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are you > > > doing?" > > > To this the man replies," Manager, see the board here ---" Wash Basin ". > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Sent from iPhone.