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Sunday, May 22, 2011

Singh.




> > > One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America . A lady came
> > > and asked him, " Are you relax-ing?" Singh answered, "No, I am Banta
> > > Singh". Another guy came and asked the him the same question. Singh
> > > answered, "No No Me Banta Singh!" Third one came and asked him the
> > > same question again.
> > > Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While
> > > walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to him
> > > and asked, "Are you Relaxing? The other Singh was a lot more educated
> > > and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."
> > > The Singh slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid, idiot-fool. Everyone
> > > is looking for you and your are sitting over  absolutely doing nothing!"
> > >
> > > ****************************
> > >
> > > A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint
> > > Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in
> > > education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective
> > > heavenly soul, he must answer two questions:
> > >
> > > 1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
> > > 2. How many seconds are in a year?
> > >
> > > The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered... 1. The two days
> > > of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow. 2. There are
> > > 12 seconds in a year.
> > >
> > > Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even
> > > though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds
> > > in a year?"
> > >
> > > The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March
> > > 2nd,etc.." Saint Peter lets him in without another question or word.
> > >
> > > *********************************
> > >
> > > Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low
> > > all around his living room. Jasmeet : "What are you searching for?"
> > > Santa : "Hidden cameras!" Jasmeet : "And what makes you think that
> > > there are hidden cameras here?" Santa : "That guy on TV knows exactly
> > > what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are
> > > watching CNN'. How does he know that?"
> > >
> > > **********************************
> > >
> > > Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and started
> > > thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing;
> > > what are you thanking God for ?" The Singh replied "I am thanking Him
> > > for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time,
> > > otherwise I would have been missing too."
> > >
> > > **********************************
> > >
> > > Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final
> > > examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the
> > > question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration
> > > takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then
> > > removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks
> > > and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and
> > > asks what is going on. Sir, I am only following the instructions in d papers"!
> > > It says here "Answer the following questions in brief".
> > >
> > > *************************************
> > >
> > > Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like
> > > hell.
> > > So the other asked, "Why are you crying?"
> > > The first one said, "I came here for blood test"
> > > Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid "
> > > First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my
> > > finger"
> > > Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was
> > > astonished and asked the other, Why are you crying?"
> > > The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
> > >
> > > **************************************
> > >
> > > A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to
> > > wash hands but starts washing the basin instead.
> > > The manager comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are you
> > > doing?"
> > > To this the man replies," Manager, see the board here ---" Wash Basin ".
> >
>
> _________________________________________________________________
>


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