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Monday, March 30, 2009

sometimes love just ain't enough

Based on "Kath I love you" I have chosen this song. Enjoy :)



Now, I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

(Chorus)

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

(Chorus)

And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No


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First Commenter: Nabilah Mangshor

Friday, March 27, 2009

Kath I love you [part 2]


I reached home quite late. It was because of the bad traffic. The bloody bridge hasn’t finished renovated. I could swear with thousand words or vulgar but I was just too tired to even pick the best vulgar. My head was full. Full with so many things. Parked my car in the garage. I walked straight to my room. “Fuh…!” I whined.

I looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It was 7pm. Weird but true that I had been driving for 2 hours from office to my house. Yes, I know Penang is not big. I really can’t stand with the traffic in Penang.

My legs were shivering. Tired for sure.

I switched on my laptop. Clicked on my Mozilla browser and automatically directed to my blog.

“Haha so many comments...” I laughed after the whole day stress at work with bad traffic as the bonus.

Beep!

My cell phone rang. It was a SMS. I slowly took my cell phone and open the SMS in my inbox. I didn’t know who but I hope it’s her.

Yes. I was right. It was Katherine. Kath.

I started to read the SMS.

Right after I finished reading it, my eyes began to get wet.

Here was how the SMS written:

“Dan, my boyfriend wants me to go to KL and meet him this May and he already book flight ticket to Bangkok end of this year”.

I was shock. Devastated to be exact. My heart crushed. Crushed badly.

I couldn’t stop crying. “Why Kath… why?” I screamed in my heart. I knew I will lose again in this battle.

I called her.

There was no words could came out from our mouth. Not even mutter. We cried. That was how we express our feeling. Sorrowfulness. Very sad. I never cry so loud like that since primary school. I just could no longer bear the pain.

“I give you time Kath ok? Don’t make any decision yet please”.

“I’m sorry Dan, I can’t afford to hurt you anymore. I love you so much and I love him too but you know I can’t leave him. Our relationship is 5 year now… you know…”

“I don’t want to hear about it anymore Kath! Please…”

“I’m sorry Dan… I have to leave you. I don’t want you anymore… sorry… I can’t leave him and I know I’m very mean by making this decision”

“Kath, please… I can’t live without you. You’re my oxygen. I can’t live without you… I can’t breathe”

“It’s my fault Dan. I’m sorry… please forgive me…”

She hung up.

My head went blank. Nothing in my mind. I didn’t feel sad anymore. I didn’t feel happy too. I felt nothing. I didn’t see my future anymore. I had no reason to live.

I went to my study table. I took some pills from the table. The one Kath gave to me when I was sick. Different type of pills.

I chose Paracetamol. Written on the tablet -- 650.

I called her. She answered the call and I could tell that she was sad and still crying.

“Kath, you know I can’t live without you. You don’t love me anymore…”

I started to munch the pills. A handful.

“No..!!! Dan…!!! Please…!”


First Commenter : Ad Rifza

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Kath I love you


The dinner was great. Candle light dinner. Cozy surrounding.

It has been so long since I ate rib eye steak last. I can’t remember. I really can’t. Maybe because it was ages ago. Maybe it was something I wanted to forget about. Something poignant. Something forlorn.

Nothing left in my plate. Neither her plate.

Jessica -- is a smart girl, tall and big appetite. That’s how I’d describe.

We talked less, more smiles than anything else. I was shy. I’m still shy until today. A shy guy who usually will be assumed as a low self esteem guy who can’t lead people but himself. I doubt.

I looked outside through the glass wall. It was raining. People walked with umbrella in their hands. It was wet outside. With aircond in the restaurant and raining outside, I really wish I could take hot shower at that moment. It was freezing.

I saw someone looking at me. I was nervous. My heart beats became fast. It became faster till I couldn’t breathe. I forgot how to inhale and exhale anymore.

I rubbed my eyes.

“Oh my God!” I screamed in my heart.

It was Katherine.

The one I love so much. I knew she loves me too.

What made me confuse? She was attached.

I left the table and ran to her. I could see the wretchedness in her eyes. Watery eyes.

She ran to the corner of the building. I grabbed her. I hugged her. I kissed her. Whispered to her how much I love her. She just cried. No word comes out from her mouth. I was panicked.

“Why you do this to me Dan? Why?” she hollered.

“I’m sorry but aren’t you attached Kath?” I replied.

She looked down.

Looked at my face and continue. “Do you love her?”

“No but…” I didn’t manage to finish my sentence.

“Then don’t mislead her!” she cried again.

“Will you choose me and leave him Kath?” I asked her and I started to cry.

“I don’t know Dan… I really don’t know. I love you but you know that our relationship is 5 years long and even though I know you for 7 months I feel like I know you for 700 years! I don’t want you to be sad. I don’t want him to be sad too!”

“That’s greedy Kath… you know that you can’t have 2 guys at the same time and keep them forever like that”

“I know Dan, but it’s hard for me”

“Maybe you should leave me Kath and focus on him”

“I can’t leave without you Dan! I love you!”

“… and you love him too!”

Silence.

“Kath… you have to make a choice” I looked into her eyes. Deep.

She looked down. Looked into my eyes. She walked away. Left me alone there in the rain.

I cried.



First Commenter : Inah

Monday, March 23, 2009

can't smile without you

I'm hardly update anything in the blog. Hardly do my reading. Frankly, hardly do anything... but will be fine after April 6. The presentation... really give me a big headache.

Enjoy my choice for this week ;)




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First Commenter : Insomniac

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

pakya's chalet

No time for me to write a long post... and I know procrastination is a thief of time! Just enjoy the pictures ok?




On the boat. My niece... she is so lovely!

As soon as we arrived, I started fishing!

... and barbecuing

Sunset... ;)

So nice right?

Sister is "busy"...

... niece is busier!

Bro in law with 1st catch!

Can you see 2 rainbows? *wink*

I know it's small :P



Foods we ate there... and fresh fish that we caught too!!! Yums!

Another sunset... Let's sing Huanghun... *grin*

Dawn...

"Ouch!!!" it's painful when you get "hooked"!!!

3kg... the biggest in 2 days we staying there ;)

My 1st catch... at 6am

The moon... nice?

These were what we ate at Maklom (in mainland)... yums!

Oi! When will the road back to normal!!!



First Commenter: HalfCrazy

Thursday, March 12, 2009

eating comedian

Don’t ask me about the post for last week vacation. I don’t have much time to write about it yet.

Today I felt very sleepy maybe because I slept at 2am. When I play badminton, I’d forget about time. Forget about it at all. It makes me feel relief. It makes me feel happy. It makes me release my stress and great satisfaction. I play twice or maybe 3 times a week. Good for my health, good for my shape.

Nothing much for tonight, I was writing about the vacation then Nad buzzed me in YM. Talked about work and more likely screaming out my unsatisfied heart towards my office, the environment. Sucks. Big time! (Keyword: Sucks)

Then she went to bed and I went to toilet. It was 12 o'clock. As usual I took a book with me. To accompany me.

I just want to share a joke with you.

Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, “Does this taste funny to you?”


The Lucky One – Nicholas Sparks [page 45]



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Monday, March 09, 2009

all my life

I just reached home and ran to my laptop to update this Music Monday. Can you see how possessed I am with this? LOL.

Thanks to LJ for organize great thing like this and thanks to Rosie, BCD and Shemah for introducing it to me. It really makes my day ;)

This is my choice for this week.

Enjoy!




Baby (x11)

I'm So Glad...

I Will Never Find Another Lover
Sweeter Than You
Sweeter Than You
And I Will Never Find Another Lover
More Precious Than You
More Precious Than You
Girl You Are..
Close To Me You're Like My Mother,
Close To Me You're Like My Father,
Close To Me You're Like My Sister,
Close To Me You're Like My Brother
And You Are The Only One My Everything
And For You This Song I Sing....

All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

I'd Send You All That I'm Thinking Of........Baby

Said I Promise To Never Fall In Love With A Stranger
You're All I'm Thinking Of
I Praise The Lord Above
For Sending Me Your Love
I Cherish Every Hug
I Really Love You

All My Life (Ohhhh..Baby, Baby)
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I...That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

You're All That I Ever Know,
When You Smile All My Face Always Seems To Glow,
You Turned My Life Around,
You Picked Me Up When I Was Down,
You're All That I've Ever Known,
When You Smile My Face Glows
You Picked Me Up When I Was Down
Say...You're All That I've Ever Known
When You Smile My Face Glows
You Picked Me Up When I Was Down
And I Hope That You
Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

And All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I ..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

(Fading)
And All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God That I...That I Finally Found You.....


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Saturday, March 07, 2009

birthday presents







I still got a lot of pictures with me. I’m going to post them all but not once. So, no short story at least for a month. Perhaps.

I’ve taken these pictures last month but I don’t know why I didn’t post them until today.

Anyhow, that’s not a problem.

These are pictures of my birthday presents. I know some of them are much unexpected. The thought counts. I don’t mind even if it’s just the green packet seaweed at 7 Eleven (it’s my favorite :P). I don’t mind if it’s just Rocky sticks. Don’t mention about the price, don’t mention about you feel bad comparing your present with others. Again, the thought counts :)

For some reasons, I don’t put names as some of them prefer to be anonymous. What I can say here is: I love you guys so much! I love the presents a lot!


P/s: I’ll be away for 2 days start from today and I’ll be back on Monday. I’m going to Pakya Chalet at Teluk Bayu, Sungai Petani (Kedah).



Congratulation to HalfCrazy for being the First Commenter!

Friday, March 06, 2009

kfc



As I told you before, I got a lot of thing to talk about. What had happen to me or what is happening to me? But sometimes it’s the right time to share or not a good idea to always talk about me. I think write about something fact or useful is better than talking crap about me. I’ll write about me when I’m tired I guess, as I don’t have writer blockage but just write something light. If I provide all fact and figures I guess you’ll be bored and it’s kinda hard to chew too.

Why I put Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) picture in this post?

Ok, it has been a while since I ate this fried chicken last. I guess with K the last time I ate, at the same place.

2 days ago we went to the same KFC restaurant at 2am. In case you don’t know we have 24 hours KFC and Mc Donalds and good thing they are not far from my house. Is it a good thing? LOL. I know, I know fast food is not good.

I slept at 4am. But I slept with a big smile on my face. Fuuhhh! Satisfied.

Yesterday, I slept at 3am. Blame Shemah for keeping me awake! LOL.

Reached home after badminton, while on my way home, I got a call from someone. Last call before go to China for 10 days. 10 days sound long to me. Indeed.

I couldn’t sleep after replying some comments and at 2am I remembered that I’ve promised you guys that I’ll write everyday. LOL. So I wrote about badminton.

KFC is not good for health but it should be ok if you swallow it once in a blue moon. But the fact is I like KFC haha! Eating with someone who can make you feel comfortable and loved really a great thing.

I’m going to take shower now and eat dinner. I know it’s late but what choice do I have?


P/s: please don’t blame me if you think this picture make you craving for unhealthy food LOL.



Congratulation to Azfarul for being the First Commenter!

badminton



It’s 2am and only I remember I’ve promised you guys that I’ll blog everyday. Since I’m pretty tired, all in sudden I got writer blockage. LOL.

Yes I know I’ve a lot to share with you guys but right at this moment I just prefer not to blog about something heavy.

What I did today instead of staring at my office computer 24/7 for the whole day, I played badminton.

It was not easy to fight the bad wolf inside of me for not going. But I managed to push myself hard and I drove there about 9:30pm. Why I went there so late? Well, this group of people plays late. Don’t ask me why. Simply don’t know. LOL. Since my colleague (only 2 peoples I know who are also my colleagues) reached there at 9:30pm, so I just went there at the same time.

At first I was a bit upset as the players weren’t as good as I thought (LOL I’m not good either, it’s my right to exaggerate story :P) but when I was almost done playing, 2 peoples came and they were quite good. Managed to play with them 1 set and I was exhausted. I mean very exhausted. I don’t know how many set I played but it should be more than your fingers on your hand ;)

It has been so long since I played last with my colleague before our contract cancelled by Sport Complex. It was a damn thing to think about. I like the place a lot.

Next week, Thursday we have selection for my company player who will play against Bukit Mertajam branch again and also will be listed in badminton team for Finance Games. I don’t feel like going. I don’t know. From my past experience the selection was bias. We shall see how thing goes.

… and I shower at night again. I know someone might nag but I can’t sleep with smelly body :P

You know I’m very hygienic. Eh you know right? LOL.

I got a call from someone and that someone will be going to China for 10 days. Duh! That is long!

I hope K enjoy the time with family ;)

I’ll treat you your birthday meal and you can choose what you want when you return. Please not fried noodle or Roti John ya LOL.

Now my body is aching everywhere.

Gotta go gargle and enjoy my eye mask from Body Shop.

Nitey nite all!



Congratulation Shemah for being the First Commenter!

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

foods

I laughed out loud when Joseph sent me a SMS telling me he is gaining weight like 5-6 kilos. Why? Because I guess I’ve gained weight too!

Some people might jump into a conclusion again that I’ve gained weight because I’m happy or maybe because I’m in love. Oh! Please don’t ask me this kind of question ok? Because you’ll get the same answer as in SMS, call, YM, MSN or office email -- No comment. Haha!

Lately I’ve been eating a lot especially at night. Again, don’t ask me why!

Pictures below were my birthday dinner treated by someone special.






Delicious aren’t they? We ate these at Pen Mutiara Penang. Trust me the fish head curry is only RM26 and it was in big pan. Imagine how big the fish heads and the curry simply taste good!

Ok, sorry for no more pictures as lately I hate to snap pictures.

I also ate at End of The World with a friend -- 2 big prawns, 1 kerapu and broccoli as our veggie. I wanted to take picture because the tiger prawns were really big! As big as my palm!

Not to mention we ate supper at Pak Hussin restaurant that serve Tomyam’s style of foods. Reasonable price and good service :) You can eat a lot when you are happy and eat with someone special. Don’t you think? Haha.

I also ate finger licking good burger at Batu Maung. Trust me; it’s more delicious than Mc Donalds!

2 days ago I ate at Pen Mutiara again and this time we chose fried rice (me with Kampung style) and squirt with sour sauce (turmeric and asam).

Start from today, I’ll try to blog daily. If I don’t do this, this blog is going to be closed soon as laziness disease is attacking me! Haha.



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